In light of the circus playing daily in Washington with the head clown in the White House (except on weekends), I am hereby making a modest proposal.
Henceforth, all candidates for nation-wide elected office, especially for President and Vice President, must be required to pass an F.B.I. security clearance background check. They should be required to disclose their tax returns for the prior 10 years. They must list any potential conflict of interest that may influence their decision-making abilities. They must list business dealings with foreign agents or governments. They must agree not to name close relatives to major posts. They will agree not to override F.B.I. recommendations to deny top security clearances for friends.
In short, candidates to the highest office in the land should be held to the same qualifications or standards as any other federal employee down to secretaries and clerks. F.B.I. agents should be able to interview any and all acquaintances who could raise red flags as to private quirks that may subject them to blackmail. Their loyalty to the U.S. must be scrutinized meticulously. If these safeguards are followed, we may never have to endure another Chief Executive such as the current one.
All candidates must undergo a mental health examination by at least three independent psychologists to determine how they handle stress. Independent medical examiners should check the candidate’s fitness for office. No private personal doctors, who are tenants, need apply. The current occupant of the White House governs by tantrum, government shutdowns, or closing the borders if he does not get his way.
Most applicants for sensitive government positions must undergo a lengthy investigation. F.B.I. agents interview many individuals who have knowledge of the applicant’s business, habits, and associates. They are asked if there is anything in the applicant’s background that might cause problems in the future. My former secretary underwent a 6-month F.B.I. investigation to be a secretary at the local U.S. Attorney’s Office. But to be the head of the U.S. Government, all you need is a red hat and daily slogans, and you are in. It helps if you insult your opponent’s looks daily and curse occasionally. No previous experience in local, state, or federal government is necessary. You can learn as you go.
The more hateful your rants, the louder your audience’s roar of approval. Just wondering if any Congressman or Senator would be interested in my proposal.
In Liberty,
David Almaraz
